Grrr, the mom guilt! It’s so annoying, yet so hard to ignore.
We know mums how bad the guilt gets when it comes to treading on that work-life balance rope. You want to be with your kids, but you also don’t wanna let go of your career and dreams (and, of course, that feeling of being an independent working woman).
We get you. And more than anything, we understand how sometimes, despite doing it all, you often end up asking yourself, “Am I doing enough for my kids?”
Every day, you are juggling Zoom meetings, day-care pickups, emails, bedtime snuggles, and between all of it, that mom guilt keeps murmuring inside your head and questioning your commitment towards both. You love your work—it fulfils you, challenges you, and maybe even makes you a better mom, but that nagging mom guilt doesn’t let you be in peace. Many moms experience work burnout, which can intensify feelings of guilt about not spending enough time with their kids.
Let’s talk about that guilt, shall we? And more importantly, let’s figure out how to hush it without sacrificing your career or your joy as a mom.
Understanding mom guilt and why it keeps showing up?
Every working mom, at some point or another, feels inadequate about themselves and starts comparing themselves with other moms. What starts as a harmless worry now and then soon becomes a full-fledged, overwhelming thought of not doing enough, not doing it right, or somehow falling short of the ideal mother image.
The irony is that while many working mums feel guilty about working, believing that they are neglecting their children, many stay-at-home moms feel guilty about not contributing financially or lacking intellectual stimulation. Isn’t it sad that no matter what mothers do, our society will judge them and put labels on them? Apparently, nothing a woman does is good enough, and the complexities of the world manifest into mom guilt, making you feel you are the culprit!
Mom guilt keeps showing up in many ways, and to top it off, the “perfect mum” portrayal on social media makes it more complicated. This unrealistic image of a mother who effortlessly balances work and family, is always patient, and their child is picture-perfect and well-behaved is mostly not true.
You are doing your best.
Managing work burnout is essential for maintaining a healthy balance between career and family life. Some days, you have got everything under control, but if there are a few days when you are late from work and you order takeout because deadlines at work are a priority, too, then you aren’t a bad mom. You aren’t doing anything wrong, and there is nothing to be guilty of. You care for your family, and this is the best version you could be on that particular day. And it’s completely normal!
Mums, we feel you, but it’s also necessary that you believe in yourself and be assured that what you are doing is enough. Don’t fall for the pressure society puts on you or your internal expectations because you grew up seeing your mother do certain things. Don’t compare yourself to other moms, working mom or not, because each mother and her relationship with their child is unique. Mom guilt is common, and while some level of self-reflection is healthy, excessive guilt can be detrimental.
5 ways to tame the guilt monster
We know that sometimes things can get out of hand, and the mom guilt can creep in when you aren’t looking. That’s completely natural if it happens, but immediately take action the minute you find yourself feeling guilty. Don’t let that mom guilt trip overpower you and turn the negative feelings into something constructive so that you create positive moments out of it.
Here are six simple (and fun) things you can try to make the best out of the time with your child:
1. The “power hour” hack
Set aside one undistracted hour with your kids every day, and make sure this hour is not interrupted by anything, not even your phone! Even an hour of undivided attention is worth more than numerous hours of moments in between tasks. And you will be amazed by how much your child enjoys this little time with you and how fulfilling it feels to watch them soak it all in.
Fun Tip: Label this hour as something fun like “Mom & Me Adventure Hour” to make it special for them and minimise the mom guilt.
2. Make your calendar work for you, not against you
Okay, let’s get this straight. We all have 24 hours, so there is nothing we can do about it, but if we block family time just like we schedule meetings, making the most of work-life balance can be possible without stress.
Plan this well in advance so that it doesn’t clash with anything or get affected by your work. You can colour-code this, but make sure to mark it as non-negotiable. Soon, you will find yourself feeling less guilty and making more memories with your child.
Something to remember: Don’t forget to schedule breaks for yourself, too, because work burnout benefits no one, and you, not being recharged, will harm your bond with your child more than mom guilt.
3. Create mini rituals
Here’s a super fun and cute parenting hack that we recommend to our Nino Mondo mums. There are no limitations to creativity, so create simple mini rituals with your child and make them your little moments of joy with them. You can create rituals like morning dance parties, secret handshakes, bedtime jokes, or something secret that only you and your child know.
These tiny traditions will become an unforgettable memory for your child and help create pure bonding moments.
Fun Example: One mom we know does a “sock race” every morning to get her toddler dressed. Pure chaos, pure joy!
4. Use tech wisely
We feel that anything and everything can be used to create positive experiences for mother-child bonding, and keeping that in mind, we have found that not all screen time is bad. You can share something amazing or fun at work, record silly videos while traveling, or even send voice notes during your coffee break to use technology for connecting with your child.
Convert your mom guilt into smart hacks and see magic happen now and then.
5. Ditch perfection
Guess what? Your kids don’t need a perfect mom. They need a happy one.
One way to reduce work burnout and mom guilt is by setting clear boundaries between work and home time. No mother, we repeat, no mother is what social media claims all the time, so forget the guilt about birthday cupcakes from the store instead of handmade ones. We know whatever you do for your child will be the best, so stop punishing yourself with mom guilt because of other Instagram moms and enjoy your moments with your child in your own way.
Can Montessori help cope with mom guilt?
And one reliable way to trust your instincts and find a safe space is to follow the Montessori parenting style, as it doesn't force or exaggerate your role.
The best thing about the Montessori parenting style is that it doesn’t make you do extra as a mom. It encourages independence, allowing children to engage in meaningful activities and build confidence, even when mom is busy. So, instead of dreading the mom guilt for not being available 24/7 or stressing over your career choices, Montessori helps moms create a home environment that supports self-led learning, where kids thrive through exploration and responsibility.
All you need to do is make simple changes—like child-friendly spaces, hands-on learning, and practical life activities—to help your child learn, grow, and develop essential skills, even in their absence. The Montessori parenting style shifts the focus from constant supervision to mindful connection, making motherhood more fulfilling and less stressful.
Q&A: But what if I still feel guilty?
Q: “What if I miss a major school event?”
A: Talk to your child in advance and explain your work commitment, but plan a special way to celebrate later—maybe with ice cream for just the two of you.
Q: “How do I know if I’m doing enough?”
A: If you’re wondering this, chances are you are. Trust your heart, dear working mom.
Q: “I’m exhausted trying to balance it all. What should I do?”
A: Take a breath and say no to things that don’t spark joy or add value. A calmer, happier you is better for everyone.
Q: “How can I be present when my mind is still at work?”
A: Use simple grounding techniques and stick to them no matter what. Before stepping into mom mode, take three deep breaths and remind yourself, “I’m here now.”
Q: “What about weekends when I just want to rest but feel guilty for not doing family activities?”
A: Rest is productive, and let your child see that self-care is important. And you can try cosy activities like movie nights or board games instead, where effort is low but the quality is high.
Q: “My kids are young and may not understand why I work so much. What do I tell them?”
A: Keep it simple: “Mommy works because it helps our family and makes me happy too. But I love spending time with you more than anything.”